| (no subject) |
[Feb. 26th, 2005|11:49 am] |
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Hi. I still exist. Just haven't felt much like posting. Because no one reads this except myself and when I read what I wrote awhile ago, it scares me. |
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| Today. |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|02:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
So... today in 1st period we talked about a story (in spanish) about this girl... basically, she's sitting outside some guy, that she probably doesnt even know--'s house for hours writing him a letter, and that letter is the story. And our teacher thinks we shouldn't think that's strange because when we see someone cute, we go and ask our friends about them, find out what classes they're in, and drive by their house. I would like to say I have never been like "Oh he's cute let me drive by his house." Well, David Kessler's cute and I drive by his house, but that's because he's my neighbor and that's what happens when you live by a person. But according to Mrs. Frey, we all do that and just won't admit to it. By the way Bobby Duncan's schedule is Spanish, then Unicorn Studies, then Remedial ABC's then pre-calc... and his house was built in 1978... OH SNAP! Just kidding... I made that up... Well except the first and last class, but that's because we have those together. And if you're reading this, you probably don't know who Bobby Duncan is... Let's just say... when you think you hear an opossum outside your house, writing you a letter... it's Bobby.
Okay, now that I am completely off topic, let's go to 2nd period. English. Boring. 3rd period = studyhall = nothing THAT special.
4th period... it's normally pre-calc but I got to skip that today and see Twelfth Night, put on by some actors. It was freaking hilarious... Yes, it was all in Shakespeare speak, but it wasn't actually that hard to understand. And apparently, Shakespeare liked to use the word ass. It was great though... it had some freaking pyscho characters and the actors were wonderful... I really liked the clown/jester guy because he was so dumb yet clever at the same time. And then there was a steward who went psycho and he was just freaking funny (and funny-looking). And one of the girls had flippin awesome clothing and I wanted it. Yesssss.
And anything interesting that has happened before today... I have forgotten. Oh and I put up pictures and random stuff in my locker today... because I haven't, and I know boys with prettier lockers, so I decided mine needed help. Hahaha. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2005|08:53 pm] |
Today was the first day of 2nd term.
Spanish 5- Everyone thinks the teacher is really evil, but she doesn't seem that bad. I've never had her before, but I was in Spanish Club last year, so I think she likes me. There was 17 people in there today. My friend Tyler has 8 in his class. I wish I was in his. Oh well.
English- FCA Women's Bible Study meets in Hannawald's room, so I knew the teacher some already and she seems nice. We got to stand on our desks. And we watched clips from The Dead Poet's Society I believe. I've never seen the movie, but I recognized it from seeing a clip of it last year.
Study Hall- Today I filled out an aide form for Thatcher (an art teacher), but so did 2 other people and she doesn't know if she can have 3 aides. So one of us might get kicked off. Hopefully it work be me. Today me and the aide named Lauren were the ones who actually did stuff, so hopefully the guy will be the one booted. But I was probably the last to ask her, so I could get let go of. If that happens, then I'm going to switch to 3rd period Spanish 5 with Tyler and aide for someone else 1st period, since Thatcher has a 1st period plan I'm pretty sure. So, MWAHAHAH! Unless there's room in 1st period painting because people dropped... hmmm... but then my school fees will go right back up... And my counselor will kill me for switching so much... Well if I switched to 3rd period Spanish, I'd have a good excuse... but a 1st period study hall would kind of suck... oh well...
Pre-calc- About 75% of the class clowns in the "smart" classes are in that class. Poor teacher. That class will be GREAT. And the teacher seems cool. So that's good.
Last night I went to Young Life and like all the Young Life clubs in Cincinnati were there... VERY crowded... but it was cool... almost got killed by a nearby mosh pit though... Yelled at Ben for skipping so many SPAM meetings... and reminded him there was one today. Of course he didn't come. Slacker. Heheh. |
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| A rant. |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|09:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
You know what would be really cool... if like, sometime, I like went somewhere with someone. Shopping alone or with my mom gets kind of boring after awhile. But that's not going to happen. And I think I lost all capability for doing something with someone else awhile ago. Like, if I go to a concert and see a friend... I can't just hang out with them... It's like I have to do 5 minute alternating shifts of talking to them and going to the bathroom/getting a drink/etc. But that's okay because people can only put up with me for 5 minutes at a time anyway. Well maybe actually 4 minutes, it just takes me an extra minute to take a hint. You know... I thought maybe this year I'd make some new friends with some nice people at school... like Ashley and Devon and stuff... but duh Bethany...they already have friends and don't need me... they're just too nice and that's all. That's what I hate about school. You go to school with the same people for 13 years and by 11th grade everyone's already in their little groups of friends and the doors on those have been closed for a few years. So you're left out in the cold hoping to get in somewhere, sensing some false hope to get in somewhere, then realizing it was only a superficial glow. Do I push people away or do they push me away? It happens with every single person I know, so maybe it's me. Who put the effing loser gene in me anyway. You know, the coding in your DNA where no matter what you do, no one will like you because you aren't capable of being liked. No, you don't know, because you aren't like me. You have it better, even if by just a little. All the people I know personally (read: middle-class Americans) that complain about the social and emotional aspects of their lives have what I could only wish to have. And you know, I want to have kids someday, but that requires a husband, and that requires someone loving you, and that requires not having a 4 minute shelf life. I want a husband... I think I could find someone to love for the rest of my life. But could I find someone who would love me for the rest of his? God only knows, literally. I fear I'm going to become a single parent, if I do get married, because my husband might last a few years, which would be outstanding, but after that, like everyone else, he'll become sick of me. Maybe I'm one of kind, but that's not helpful when everyone else is 10 of a kind and has someone else to understand them. It's so annoying. All those people who tell me college is a zillion times better sure as heck had better not be lying or else I'm hopeless. |
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| Because I'm a loser. |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|08:11 pm] |
"1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal...along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the 'coolest' book you can find. Do what's actually next to you. "
"The well-meaning officials in London were working for the welfare of the empire as a whole, and they gave overall unity to its policies."
My history book. That I should be doing work from. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|07:39 pm] |
So... school... was normal I think. I went to FCA this morning... that's always nice... My friend Roxanne got 12 inches of her hair cut off yesterday and donated it... and I thought that was cool... I don't have the patience to grow my hair that long. It looks nice though.
We had a sub in art class... I decided to do my last concentration in there (it's a piece of art work about a theme, which was babies) and got it done... so that's good. Then I stayed after for an art club meeting... then I went over to the security office at the mall and worked on a mural the art club's doing there... I'll be going over tomorrow too... after a prom planning meeting... why did I sign up for prom committee? I'm not sure, but I think we need a good balance of people in there that won't turn it into a glittery Barbie pink thing. All the cheerleaders are probably like "OMG WHY'S SHE HERE?!" but that's quite alright... I'll just show them how my purse lights up and they'll become silent from awe. MWAHAHAHA!
And on my little car-hitting incident... I'll have to pay some money and also, I'll have to practice maneuverability in the dark, in the van. Oh joy.
And I'm going to drop drawing next term and aid for Thatcher instead. |
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| What a way to start a morning. |
[Jan. 4th, 2005|03:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
So today I went out to my car to get in it and leave the house. However, it was on the opposite side of the driveway than usual and if I backed straight out, I'd go through the grass and eventually the mailbox. So I tried to angle the car, but it was dark and I couldn't see crap out of my mirrors. So I hit my dad's 2002 Honda Civic... not good. I might've hit it twice... because I was backing out and thought I was getting close (but not only that, I might've hit the mirror and not known it?), so I pulled forward and tried to fix my angle, but I think I made it worse because then I dented the car. So I cried. And my mom came out and try to bakc the van out, but almost hit the other car. So then my dad came out, very pissed off, and backed me out. And now I'm screwed when he comes home. I don't have the $400 something it takes to fix it. So I'll probbaly be doing some work.
Then I went to school. And I was walking across the parking lot. And I almost walked in front of some girl in her car, so she honked, and I wanted to yell eff you at her (but the REAL word), but I had just finally stopped crying and that made me break again and pissed me off. So I stood on the sidewalk and cried because I wasn't ready to go to school yet. But then a nice girl from my history class named Roxanne walked up to the sidewalk and so I talked to her and I felt better.
History class was pretty good. The teacher was talking about the 3 main feminists and she had two and asked if anyone knew the third, and I did so I raised my hand and said Gloria Steinam or however it's spelled. And it was right... I knew about her from doing a civil rights project in 9th grade. Then later we were working in little groups and somehow she and my group got onto the topic of careers and I said I wanted to be a fashion designer, so she asked which designed had the phrase "The new look" and gave the hint it was 4 letters, so I said, "Dior" and she gave me a dollar for getting it right. Haha.
Chemistry was normal.
Spanish... was pretty normal too.
Art was cool... Chad Montgomery came to visit Staudt again and he's hot, so that's good. ;) And he hugged me before he left like usual. Woohoo.
And now I'm home. I made brownies. Maybe they'll help a little? Nah... appeasement never works. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|09:03 pm] |
Of course Tyler wants me in bed. |
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| New Years Eve Story |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|08:52 pm] |
So on New Year's Eve my family drove up to the Polaris mall in Columbus and saw relatives... we don't meet in houses for some reason... So that was cool. Then we drove home and emptied the van and I took it to a New Year's Eve party and hung out with my friends Tony, Channy, and Mike. I also said hi to some friends from school and church. And I brought a new purse I made which lights up... But anyway... it was fun... And Tony decided it was necessary to be all over me... so that was interesting.
Here's a group picture:
And yeah... I'm going to make this a public entry... because I feel like it... and it doesn't mention anyone from school. |
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| LYK OMG IMA COPY OFF OF JRODUN LOLZ PUNK RAWK!@1$! |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|07:17 pm] |
LAYER ONE
-- Name: Bethany
-- Birthdate: 2/14/88
-- Eye Color: Hazel.
-- Hair Color: Brown.
-- Height: 5' 3"
LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: White stuff.
-- The shoes you wore today: None
-- Your weakness: Almost everything.
-- Your fears: People dying. Losing limbs. Losing toenails or fingernails. Forgetting to wear shoes when I go out.
-- Your perfect pizza: Lots of cheese and very little sauce. And puffy crust.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Getting married and having 2 kids.
LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase: I don't know... maybe "woohoo."
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "I hope it snowed."
-- Your best physical feature: Umm... I have small hands?
-- Your bedtime: Around 10.
LAYER FOUR
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King.
-- Single or group dates: No experience.
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas.
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino.
LAYER FIVE
-- smoke: Sick.
-- Cuss: Not on purpose.
-- Sing: Not well.
-- Take a shower everyday: Yes.
-- Have a crush(es): Yes. Alex May. But only in our nightmares, not in reality.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Perhaps.
-- Want to go to college: Yeah.
-- Like high school: Sometimes.
-- Want to get married: Yes!
-- Believe in yourself: Like Jordan said: "When it comes to being sexy? Oh yes. Yes."
-- Get motion sickness: Mildly.
-- Think you're a health freak: No.
-- Get along with your parents: Mostly.
-- Play an instrument: Nope.
LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: All the time. (No)
-- Smoked: No.
-- Done a drug: Maybe. (No)
-- Had Sex: No.
-- Made Out: With a monkey. (No)
-- Gone on a date: No.
-- Gone to the mall?: Yeah.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No.
-- Eaten sushi: No.
-- Been on stage: No.
-- Gone skating: No.
-- Made homemade cookies: Too much.
-- Gone skinny dipping: No.
-- Dyed your hair: No.
-- Stolen anything: No.
LAYER SEVEN: Ever..
-- Had Sex: No.
-- How Many times: 32516543523542353261. (Zero)
-- People you had sex with: The Pillsbury doughboy. (That means, zero.)
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Oh of course... you know me. (No.)
-- If so, was it mixed company: Of course. (No.)
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: All the time!! (No.)
-- Been caught "doing something": No.
-- Been called a tease: No.
-- Gotten beaten up: No.
-- Shoplifted: No.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: No.
LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: Around 20-24
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 2. Eberlein Cadence (girl) and Aeden Alexander (boy)
-- Describe your dream wedding: With a man.
-- How do you want to die: When I'm old... painlessly...
-- What country would you most like to visit: Spain.
LAYER NINE: In a guy/girl.
-- Best eye color? I don't care.
-- Best hair color? Whatever's natural... but I like brown hair.
-- Short or long hair: I like shaggyish hair, but only if it fits the guy.
-- Height: Taller than me. Short guys (5'5" to 5'7" ish) are cute sometimes... no taller than 6' 0"... because then I'd have to look up.
-- Best articles of clothing: Well I like them to have pants... Band shirts for GOOD bands are cool... I think it's cute when a boy has a short-sleeved shirt over a long-sleeved shirt.
LAYER TEN
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: My mom and dad?
--Number of CDs that I own: Around... 60ish.
-- Number of piercings: None.
-- Number of tattoos: None.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: A few... like 5.
-- Number of scars on my body: Too many? |
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| First day of Christmas Break |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|09:08 pm] |
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Woke up at 7 today... I fell asleep at 5 yesterday... so after 14 hours I decided to end my nighttime fantasies about Brad Pitt... I mean, art class or Christmas or whatever the heck I was dreaming about... Who knows... I other night I had a dream about doing math problems with some boy... on a couch... and who knows what the heck else... ANYWAYS... so after I woke up, I did dishes and then worked on making cookies and such all day... Made chocolate carmels, chocolate covered pretzals, and gingerbread cookies... and not it's 9 something. Woohoo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2004|09:25 pm] |
That's funny because Tony's says I'll be heartbroken about HIS wedding. |
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| Another public entry, JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT! |
[Nov. 24th, 2004|01:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Well... I definitely wish I didn't screw everything up... but there's nothing I can do now. It's over now. For the first time, I can tell myself I don't like him anymore and fully be able to believe myself. Hooray. Now who shall be my next victim? For stalking, you know. Since I obviously STALK everyone. (That was sarcasm.)
Now that I think I've mostly solved the mystery of what exactly happened, I can't blame anyone for hating me, if they hate me, anymore. It's my fault; No one did anything to me; I did it to myself.
Sometimes... I want to kick myself... you know, for being such an annoying little moron.
But hey... I'm 16... I've got time to learn how to not screw up my life... before I eventually meet a boy that I want to marry. Hopefully I'll learn.
I could always go to the store and buy one of the many "How to date" books... but then again... yeah right, like they would work. How pathetic is that, that people have written so many books about it. However they fail to notice that people are individuals-- we're all different-- no one can come up with a set of guidelines. Not to mention, from the articles I've read in magazines, the stuff people who write books like that come up with is a bunch of crap anyway. As in, not true. Like the ones where they try to convince you that guys don't like girls who dress like sluts. Bullcrap. We all know that's not true. Well now that I've completely gone off on a tangent...
Alex May, if for some reason you come back here and read this, did I ever tell you how intimidating you are? Once I figured out it was you who IMed me yesterday, I said to myself, "Oh crap." I don't know why, but I find you incredibly intimidating. Ashley Lutz says you're evil. Maybe THAT'S it. Hmmm... Well, I suppose that's why we picked you as our cross examiner for the trial project.
And I STILL want to know where you heard about me liking Tyler. Since it's not true and all. I could see how someone would think that though.
Or where you heard that I told people that you're mean to me? I don't believe I ever said that to anyone anywhere. You're just one of those people that I can't decide if I think is okay, or if I'd rather inflict unspeakable torture upon. And I can't decide if you think I'm okay, or if you'd rather throw me off a cliff into a pool of abnormally large fanged goldfish. In my opinion, it's the latter, but whatever. Who knows.
Okay I'm rambling. I should shut up now. THE END.
Oh wait, one more comment about my conversation with Alex yesterday: I'M the stalker? Who's the one who found my LJ without me giving him the link or anything? I rest my case.
:) :) :) :) :) :) |
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| Look! A public entry! |
[Nov. 23rd, 2004|06:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
Since Alex is OH SO SAD about me making all the entries friends only... I'll make a public one... JUST FOR HIM. [Actually I bet he just wonders what I've been saying about him in the friends-only entries... don't worry... it's nothing bad!]
What shall this lovely public entry say? Alex is cool? Who knows...
For once, I'm in an unusually good mood. WOO!
Maybe I should shut up before I type something stupid.
Have a nice day everyone! |
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| Entirely friends-only now. |
[Nov. 20th, 2004|10:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
Due to the comments by the recent cowardly stranger, I am restricting this to friends only. Your IQ must be above room temperature to read this, since I find unintelligent emotionless beasts quite a hassle.
Have a nice day. |
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| Hello there |
[Jul. 10th, 2004|07:10 pm] |
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Yeah well I have this thing... so perhaps I should post in it... but no one will read it, so maybe not. Anyway, hello. |
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